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It all started with HIM

… and he was amazing, he still is. I mean, he was everything I dreamed of… OK! I lie, I never quite had a dream, but he was funny and witty and I like myself a nice hearty laugh, that and the fact that he never used any pick up lines on me. I HATE those. None of that “what do you do for fun” interrogation questions that I never quite know how to respond. Conversation was so easy, like we knew each other from another life and we were just old friends catching up.  We even finished each others sentences, now that’s the stuff of movies. I was elated and couldn’t wait to see how this relationship would pan out.

I recall the day he told me he had a son. I didn’t think much of it.  He on the other hand looked like he was having a hard time with my reaction, maybe he expected some level of surprise. Unfortunately I seemed to have missed that cue. It was not a big deal for me, even though it was the first time I was dating a man with children. In retrospect I am so glad he was honest with me and that he did it early, way before there was anything between us. Which brings me to;

Lesson #1

Find out early in the relationship whether your partner has children or not. If you are the one with the kids, let your partner know. You see this can be a deal breaker for some people and you are better of knowing early before you invest all your time, energy, emotions and affection on something that will not work. No amount of time can change a person’s mind who has decided they are never going to settle down with someone who has children. It takes someone with a real big heart to care for a child that is not theirs and if you have a child, this is exactly the kind of person you want to settle down with.

On the day he went down on one knee in as much as it was just the two of us in that moment, I knew at the back of my mind that I was not just saying yes to him but to his children as well. Its a full package and you cannot have one without the other.

16 thoughts on “It all started with HIM

  1. Nice read, Wendy. You should also explore the intricacies of ferrying into a relationship with a single mom, and how your and her parents/guardians can get off on the wrong foot with regard to the child…some develop permanent enmity! How to deal with such?

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  2. Am so happy for u Wendy I feel u have already identified your purpose in life to be the conduit of blended families that dont speak up… U go gal..

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  3. So true.. children can be a deal breaker/ make or break a relationship. It’s always better knowing from day one. Btw: this post has great suspense, can’t wait for post #2 🙂

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