LISA celebrates dads: Alex Warinda

Every week this lovely month of June we will do something that is not done often enough. We will be celebrating dads. We will feature a dad, son or daughter in order to appreciate the crucial role that dads play and the impact and influence they have on their families. Today we applaud the incredible Alex Warinda, a single dad who raised four amazing young women; Nina, Rina, Emily and Leila. These four ladies give a sneak peak of how he managed to do it and what his love and sacrifice means to them.

 

Alex Warinda

  1. Describe your relationship with your father.

Apart from being our dad he is our best friend, a confidant, a brother we never had, and above all our role model. He is our ideal man, we trust him with our lives, he taught us everything from cleaning, cooking delicious meals to sewing our hems he’s the coolest dad ever. He is the only man who makes us believe there are few genuine good men in this world.

  1. How much time did your father spend with you?

All throughout our childhood dad spent each day with us. He would mostly leave work early and we would find he had prepared us evening tea with njugus, started working on our dinner, and helped us with our homework’s. Our dad has always been a full time dad to us he is the one who woke up first very early in the morning to prepare us for school, ensured we had breakfast and packed our lunch all this time our mum was still in bed catching her beauty sleep.

  1. How often did your father tell you that he loved you?

Each day since we can remember to date our dad calls us daily every evening individually since we are all grown up now and no longer staying with him. From the first born to our last born and to his grandson without fail. He is usually just checking up to see how our day was any challenges if any and to wish us a good night. To us that’s the greatest way of saying I love and care for you so much.

 

Nana and her son

  1. What did your father teach you about life?

Our dad has taught us patience. That nothing good comes easy and the importance of allowing God’s timing in our lives. To always strive to get the best of anything our hearts desire. To accept that not everyone will view life and issues from our perspectives and therefore learn to accept it and love them all the same. Our dad has taught us the value of forgiveness, of letting go the bitterness and pain that it’s not because the offender deserves it but we do so for our own peace and healing

  1. What did your father teach you about love and relationships?

That you will never please everyone in this life, that you will be heartbroken and betrayed but still give your best. Those relationships are not a bed of roses. Communication and appreciation is the key. He also taught us by example that you need to know when to let go before a relationship kills you.

  1. What did your father do that made you happy?

We are so proud that our father during his lowest time in life became a real man and stuck with us when all hell had broken loose after his relationship with our mum was going to the dogs. He didn’t care what people said or thought of him only what we his children thought of him. He held on tight to us and never let go. This we hold dearly. He is currently building us a very beautiful lovely home which is in the final stages.

  1. What did your father do that made you sad?

When he said tumempikia ugali mbichi  and that the meat had too much spice. We were very furious at the time since we had taken our time to fix him a good meal (Laughing out loud). Also how much he struggled when he would cycle miles just to come see us when he and mum were separated before they divorced, it was the most painful sight ever of our dad.

  1. What is your fondest memory of your father?

(Laughs) When he used to have afro hair and we would plait him, he used to have a motorbike and he would carry us around and every Friday. He still roasts meat for us to date. He also enjoys music and dancing. Every evening he would play some music and ask us to dance and reward the best dancer.

 

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Rina, Leila, Rina and her son

  1. Describe how you are like your father.

Patient, have a big heart, give our best in any situation. We like good living hence we give ourselves the best we can  and live in the moment, to the fullest.  Tunajiachilia vi deadly (Laughs)

  1. What do you wish you could tell your father?

That we, together with his grandson are super proud of him and we shall forever love him. That we value and appreciate him. Never in a million years would we wish anything different from what we have. We wouldn’t choose any other father and he is the greatest blessing in our lives. We are the women we are today because of how he molded us and brought us up. He is tough when he needs to, alituchapa sana tukiwa watoi yet so sweet when things were ok. We are the Warinda daughters!

BEST FATHERS DAY EXPERIENCE/MEMORY

Ever since our mum left us we ensured that every Valentine’s Day we took our dad out for valentines’ dinner bought him a cake, card and his favorite drink. We shared and laughed our pain away……

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Emily

LISA celebrates dads: Moses Likhanga through the eyes of a true daddy’s girl

Every week this lovely month of June we will do something that is not done often enough. We will be celebrating dads. We will feature a dad, son or daughter in order to appreciate the crucial role that dads play and the impact and influence they have on their families. Today we applaud the amazing Moses Likhanga whom we get know through the eyes of a real daddy’s girl, Vivienne Ayuma Likhanga. Vivienne is a law and administration professional and a proud mother of a 10 month old daughter. When I inquired about her age in all she could say is “I am an adult… Hehehe!… Twenty Something. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it (smiles).

Vivienne (right) with her dad

 

  1. Describe your relationship with your father.

He was my best friend. Ever since I could remember the two of us were like two peas in a pod. My parents having divorced when I was just 5 years old, my dad who became sole caregiver – took the mom and dad role greatly in his stride and he was the best single dad in the whole world. There were several days of instant soup and bread or ugali and milk for dinner but I will forever be grateful to him for how hard he tried to be everything to us before he remarried. Very few men can step up like this. I owe much of who I am today to him, if only he could see me now, he’d be proud of the woman that I’ve become.

  1. How much time did your father spend with you?

He tried his best to spend as much time with me as I was growing up. When I was little, after school in the afternoons I would go do my homework in his office then we’d proceed home afterwards in the evening when he was done. After he started working outside the country, it was a little difficult to spend so much time together but we would hang out all the time every time he got a break. We also had a letter writing tradition when I went to boarding school. He wrote to me a letter every two weeks telling me everything about where he was travelling to, the people he met and his work and of course reminding me to be a good girl and to work hard. I still have those letters. I read them whenever I miss him.

  1. How often did your father tell you that he loved you?

Every time we’d meet. He’d hug me good bye at times giving me a forehead kiss and tell me he loved me. He’d also occasionally do it on phone calls.

  1. What did your father teach you about life?

My dad taught me many things about life from how to always look people in the eye when I spoke, how to ride a bike, how to tie my shoe laces and tie; to how to multiply three digit numbers by other three digit numbers when I was just six years old. I went on to learn how to multiply numbers in school but I still did it the way he taught me; from left to right. I loved how he taught me the value and importance of hard work and a good education. If I have any success in my life it is because I am able to understand thoroughly and well what I read and I owe this specialty first to him. I appreciate him so much, for being in my life. He did all he could to give my siblings and I the best education he could afford. He worked almost 7 days a week from 5 am to 8 pm or even later, without complaining, all day standing up and never lost his joy of life and the humor.

The most important thing, he taught me was to never give up and most importantly never to panic when things go wrong. There’s always a way out but first you have to be calm to get everything in the right perspective. Being a high achiever he naturally made me always want to win and therefore I was a sore loser. But he always used to tell me: “Failure is good for you. So, accept your defeats, be aware of your mistakes and keep going. Failure sucks, but it’s not the end of the world.”

  1. What did your father teach you about love and relationships?

To love unreservedly. However he also taught me to not be a push over and to always know when to walk away from a relationship that no longer serves me. My dad’s life screamed “I love you” without saying the words. He made so many sacrifices. Watching his life taught me the greatest lesson on love: Actions speak louder than words. What we do is louder than what we say.

  1. What did your father do that made you happy?

Everything. He loved me unconditionally and was unafraid to show it. He made so many sacrifices at times personal ones just to make sure we were happy and OK. He was always so proud of me whether or not I deserved it. The greatest gift he gave me was believing in me.

  1. What did your father do that made you sad?

He got sick and there was nothing I could do to make him better. Then he died. Though I know death is inevitable and his suffering finally ended, it still broke my heart. It felt like I lost a part of me I could never replace. He was the only one besides God that I can honestly say I could always count on 24-7-365.

  1. What is your fondest memory of your father?

Listening to his heartbeat every night he held me close as he read me my bed time stories. It was the most calming moment growing up. Feeling his strong arms around me and hearing his big heart pounding away. I felt so invincible and protected.  Sometimes when I close my eyes and go back to those moments, I could almost still remember his scent and voice. It still is one of my best memories of him whenever I miss him. I also remember his love for music.. Most times you’d find him whistling or singing along to his favorite artists. It was hilarious catching him at times miming the words to our favorite artists too. One day I caught him singing along to Tupac’s “do for love” another day while we were stuck in traffic, he started singing Harry Belafonte’s, Banana Boat Song: “Day-O, Day, me say day, me say day, me say day, Me say day, me say day-o, Daylight come and me wan’ go home!” He could be so funny! There are songs I can’t listen to without thinking of him.

  1. Describe how you are like your father?

This is such a hard question. The people who knew him say that I laugh like him. Heartily.  I think I’ve got his cheeks and facial structure. I think I also took my easy going nature towards life from him as he was a free spirit. My dad was so strong, patient and kind to everybody no matter their position in life. He was the most generous, warm hearted of men you could ever meet, but at the same time, very stern when he meant business. This lesson bleeds into everything I do. Being humble and generous of heart to everybody I meet and being strong especially inside.

  1. What do you wish you could tell your father?

Oh how I wish I could resurrect him and tell him how much I love him! I would hug his neck and hold on for dear life trying to make up for all the years that I missed out on with him because I was too caught up with life. If I had one last moment I’d tell him that even though he’s gone there’s never a day that passes without me thinking about him. In everything I do I still wonder whether or not he’d be proud. I love you, dad. Thank you for everything.

BEST FATHERS DAY EXPERIENCE/MEMORY

Having lunch with him as he enjoyed his favorite scotch. He told me the first day he held me in his arms my eyes screamed at him for him to love me. And he could never stop. He told me no matter how old I am and I will always be daddy’s little girl.

 

LISA celebrates dads: Andrew ‘Keeplah’ Byama

Every week this lovely month of June we will do something that is not done often enough. We will be celebrating dads. We will feature a dad, son or daughter in order to appreciate the crucial role that dads play and the impact and influence they have on their families. Today we give it up for Andrew ‘Keeplah’ Byama, a 38 year old Organizational Learning & Development Consultant & Trainer at Training Connections and father to a 9 year old daughter and 5 year old boy.

Keeplah and his whys

1. How did you feel when you found out that you were going to be a father?

I was absolutely scared. More so because the only questions in my head were “what will the baby eat “? our salaries back then were quite small. “Will her Dad kill me” (we were still dating) and many other risk management questions.

2. Were you present for the birth of your child?

For both of them. Adrenalin is not in bungee jumping or kayaking my friends.

3. How did you feel at the birth and at the first sight of your children?

I actually had not prepared myself for the feelings that washed me over for that day. I was so busy focusing on the mother’s well-being  and the twenty two hours of labor journey, that I never prepared myself for the actual moment of seeing my daughter. She was born silent as she had been stressed so much due to the prolonged labor. As a result she was tangled in umbilical cord. She was slightly blue and had tubes to help her breathe, but that first sight on that May afternoon, made me realize my ‘why’. She managed to breathe and held on to my finger 10 minutes after her birth and I fell in love.

4. What are your concerns as you bring up your children?

I am overwhelmed by what our children are exposed to through the numerous media sources. As parents we try our best to censor but what they pick up from schoolmates, estate friends and other sources is really giving parents a run for their money. I am also concerned about my children living their lives along their gifts and talents without having to conform to society or peer pressure. Being comfortable with who they are, to reach for the stars and live their larger-than-life dreams.

5. What do you feel your role is as a Dad?

I feel my role as a dad is just that – to be a role model. In my dealings with society, with men and with myself.

6. What do you like about being a Dad?

I like the attention I receive from my children. I might be having a tough day but coming home to have small people run towards you smiling and happy that you have come, hug you and ask you how your day was. That, I like. Also just seeing them grow into their gifts with our encouragement makes me very proud and encourages me to keep doing what I am doing.

7. What do you not like about being a Dad?

I do not like that there is no customized manual for bringing children up and this makes me infuriated especially when I lose my anger with my children. I wish there was a manual for what to do when shit hits the fan, but this also is part of the journey.

8. What do you wish for your child/children?

I wish for my children happiness, a life full of integrity, a life lived full of achievement and little regret and most importantly that they can learn to love humanity and leave the world a better place than they found it or than I taught them. I also wish that they will not fall into the trap of always of living their lives only to get to the end of it. That they realize that success is not the destination but the journey. To enjoy each day like it was their last, build as many bridges and smile often.

9. What do you teach your children about love and relationships?

I teach them that all men are born equal but different because of the various mountains that make us who we are. I teach them that we love all humans equally regardless of their mountains. I encourage them to try and  get along with their friends and peers but not to get bullied.

10. What do you teach your children about money?

First, I tell them that “I DO NOT HAVE IT”; most of the time anyway, it’s a parenting instinct and default answer. I have been making them work for their money by running extra chores above what they are expected to do. For example, helping me to wash the car. My daughter started selling loom band bracelets two school holidays ago to estate children but would end up buying candy for the whole estate with the money she made. This made me start teaching them about the essence of business, expenses, profit and loss.

Finally, once a month we have a Saturday evening family monopoly game and I can see them slowly gaining their dad’s hustling mentality.

BEST FATHERS DAY EXPERIENCE/MEMORY

It’s the same each year. They wait till I have gone to the shower, then position themselves on my bed. Their mother is the chief collaborator each year. They “surprise” me when I enter the room shouting Happy Fathers Day! I do not know what it is but every year it gets better and better.

This month LISA celebrates dads

Men are totally shafted when it comes to Father’s Day. I mean, think about it. Mother’s day starts getting hyped at least one month prior to the celebration. All the major malls are decorated with eye catching Mother’s day themes, shops have impressive displays of possible gifts, restaurants have all manner of fancy brunch and dinner offers, not forgetting the spa treatments, hair, makeup and clothes makeover offers all in honor of the beautiful women who birthed and/or raised us. It’s a colorful and pompous affair.

Compare that with Father’s Day. I still have not heard any hype around anything to do with Father’s Day which by the way is in another two weeks or so. Dads are lucky if they get a card, a mug, one of those ‘greatest dad in the world’ trophies or a nice bottle of whiskey. This month however L.I.S.A wants to change this and celebrate and honor the men that we love so much, our dads, our heroes. These men have made the conscious decision to be there physically, financially, emotionally and spiritually for their families. A mother’s job is not easy but neither is theirs and yet they do it well and more often than not, without complaining.

Every week this month, I will feature a dad, wife, son or daughter on the L.I.S.A blog giving you a glimpse into the influence and impact dads have in the family.

This June, let’s hear it for the MEN!